Thoughts on Patience: Italy's Slow Rhythm

Patience is an interesting concept here in Italy. Italians seem to be able to wait in line for hours, wait for the bus to come long after it was due to arrive, and even wait patiently while the many tourists attempt to order or pay for anything in Italian shops. However, on the road, they appear to have no patience for anything (pedestrians, other drivers, vespas, or bikes). They can hardly stand to stop the car for pedestrians crossing the road in a crosswalk; they inch forward impatiently forcing pedestrians to pick up the pace and practically run across the street. But, in all other aspects of life they maintain composure and complete patience. It is a virtue to which I aspire.

I tend to think of myself as a fairly patient person most days. But, occasionally, when I get an idea in my head, I have a burning desire to do whatever it is right away. When I get a craving for a certain ice cream, I must have it immediately. When I decide I want to go for a run, I must be able to do so right away. Or if I decide I want something from the store, I go and get it in a moments notice. I don't like to stand in lines. I'm impatient if caught on the stairs behind a slow moving person. I tend to take the stairs rather than an escalator because I can keep moving, which makes me feel like it's faster. I hate waiting at red lights. I don't like to cook because it takes too long for water to boil. My impatience really shines through when I'm hungry. Just ask Ian. It's not unusual for me to ask "how much longer?" every five minutes until dinner is served. Perhaps I'm more impatient than I originally thought!

But all that may change living in Italy. I've read several articles and pieces on blogs indicating that life in Itlay moves at a slower pace. Even the woman who showed us around our apartment the first day said that Italy's rhythm is different than our rhythm in the states. At first I thought: no way! People seem to always be rushing around in a hurry to be somewhere. Cars speed down the roads. People rush by on sidewalks, eyes down, arms pumping quickly. But, as the days go by and we spend more time in Italy, I'm beginning to realize what is truly meant when people say Italy moves at a slower pace.

In the U.S., we don't have to wait for anything. That's something many companies boast about in ad campaigns. Our stores are open 24/7. If we need medicine, there's a 24-hour Walgreens around the corner. If we're hungry at midnight, there's a drive-through open nearby. Grocery stores are always open. Food can be prepared in minutes with a microwave. Don't want to wait for the water to boil, heat your mug in the microwave! Want to take a hot bath? Just go to the bathroom, turn on the faucet, and fill up the tub. We can have whatever we want whenever and wherever we want it. I've been absentmindedly following the American way of life as long as I've been alive. I've really known no other way. Until now.

Living in Italy is teaching me to be more patient, whether I like it or not. (For the record, I do like it!). As I've mentioned, Ian and I are still learning the ways of the city and culture here in Florence. We're still figuring out when shops are open, or when they will actually be open if the sign on their door says that they are supposed to be open. We are still figuring out the utilities. We've had two power outages this week (have we been consuming too much electricity?). Today, after having no power for over three hours, I finally figured out that we can turn our power back on via the electrical box in the hall. Oops...how were we to know? In our apartment, if we want hot water, we must remember to turn on the water heater roughly an hour before we want to use the hot water. We have no microwave, so we use the oven and the stove to heat all our food. And, as we discovered today, we must plan ahead. We are nearly out of food and planned to go to the grocery store today. It was open last Sunday, so we naively assumed it would be open today. We were wrong. And hungry. Luckily, we wandered far enough that we stumbled upon a soccer stadium where the Florence soccer team was playing a game today, so we were able to snag some delicious panini from a vendor.

The moral is that I'm learning to be more patient. I can't just hop in to the shower at a moment's notice if I want hot water. We can't wait until we're completely out of food to go to the store, as we tend to do back home. And we can't expect things to be open just because we want to go shopping. It's all about planning and going with the flow when things don't go as planned. It reminds me of a quote I once received in an email about life's greatest lessons: "over plan, then go with the flow." That sums up life here in Italy. Plan an hour ahead of time to take a shower, then if the water's still not hot in an hour, curl up with a good book (or whatever happens to be on hand), and wait a while longer. It's a good lesson for me. I'm learning to slow down and relax a bit, both concepts I really struggle with. I tend to be a fast-paced, overachieving workaholic (I am my father's daughter, afterall). I've never really had a period of time in my life where I didn't have work to do. It's hard for me not having work to do. Perhaps that's why I've been writing so much. But I think it's a good thing. [Funny, as I'm writing this, my iTunes, set to shuffle songs, just started playing Jack Johnson's "Inaudible Melodies". The chorus goes: "Slow down everyone you're moving too fast"...how perfect for what I'm writing!].

Even if my Italian doesn't improve all that much while I'm here, at least I can take home with me a lesson on patience and slowing down. Life is so much more enjoyable when I loosen my expectations and slow down to truly appreciate life. Instead of getting frustrated when things don't go as planned, shrug it off and laugh. Life really can be that simple.

Amber